Motivation

I have no motivation right now.  Zero.  None. It's scaring me.  I have a lot I need to be doing, even more things I should be doing, and a fair amount of things I could be doing, but instead I am doing nothing.  I am doing absolutely nothing, and I want to keep doing nothing for as long as I live.  But I have to do things.  I have so many things I have to do.  Why can't I bring myself to do them?

It's not like not doing anything is that great anyway.  So far today I have lounged in my bed, lounged on the couch, eaten some food, watched some youtube videos, brushed my hair, lounged some more, attempting homework in several forms, and now I am doing this.  Boy, is my self esteem taking a hit today.

My homework isn't even hard.  I'm intimidated to start writing my portrait, because I don't really know what I want to say.  I'm sure if I started to write, I would be able to get some words on a piece of paper, but I'm scared to even try.  My attention span is shot, and I'm worried if I start reading a book I won't get anything out of it, I'm worried about everything. I'M WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Wow, this blog post is counter productive. It is just me wasting a bunch of time talking about how I'm wasting a bunch of time. But I literally just can't bring myself to do anything.

It's going to be okay.  I am going to go try doing stuff again.  Wish me luck.