Forgetting

Somehow, I already forgot to post in this blog.  The assignment only just started, but I already forgot.  I am already behind.  It's amazing how quickly one can fall behind.  One minute, you feel completely on top of things, like you could conquer the world, the next minute you are the most incompetent person that ever existed. Why is my self-worth tied so closely to how much I accomplish?  I suppose it is better than it being tied to how I look, or how other people perceive me, but in a way I am harder on myself than anyone else would ever be. But it is the same me that is judging me based on my accomplishments that refuses to find any motivation to do anything that is expected of her. She also does this thing where she tricks herself into thinking she is being productive, when really she isn't.  For example, I read all of Night today, which is good.  That is something I needed to do.  But it definitely is due far after the memoir I need to write, the laundry I need to do, and the shower I need to take.

But, hey, at least I am writing this now.  I am doing something.  And although I may have missed the past 7 days, I am doing it now, and that shouldn't be overlooked.  I will take a shower in a little while.  My memoir will get done.  I will practice my Sign Language.  And if I am a complete failure? I'll have to wear dirty clothes for a while, but it's okay.  Sometimes you wear dirty clothes until you muster up the desire to do your laundry, and life goes on.  I hear grunge is coming back in, anyway.