Lyric Exercise 2: How to

Step one: Convince yourself not to go, because what college student has the time or money to go to Disneyland for the week?  This is the logical thing to do.  Accept the fact that you family is going to Disneyland without you, and make sure they get you a post card while you keep studying hard and gaining an education.

Step two:  Call your mom in the middle of the night after watching home videos of the whole family in Disneyland, sobbing about how you don’t even remember the trip to Disneyland when you were too young, and you don’t have memories of your siblings.  Apologize for being so irrational, but beg to come along, if just for a few days.

Step three: Have your mom decide you simply need to go the whole week.  Make sure she already buys your tickets so you are forced to go. Be happy but also inconceivably stressed out

Step four: On the first day of school, check the syllabus of the week you will be gone and already begin freaking out about the four school days you will be missing.  Try to plan ahead as much as possible, but acknowledge it will be virtually impossible until a few weeks before hand.

Step five: As the time draws nearer, approach your professors about what work you can complete ahead of time.  Some of them will be helpful.  Some of them will try to help, but fail miserably.  And others just want to see you cry.  Persevere.

Step six:  A few days before you leave, when your teachers will actually tell you what you need to do, spend all day and all night preparing to be gone.  Anticipate teachers switching three week mandatory projects for one of the weeks you were gone.  They will not tell you ahead of time.  They will be unabashed.  Perservere.

Step seven: Stay up the whole night before you fly out desperately trying to accomplish as much as you can while being nauseous with excitement for your trip.

Step 8:  Listen as roommates, teachers, friends, strangers tell you how lucky you are to be leaving.  Acknowledge that you are, but feel like screaming at them, emphasizing how much you have sacrificed to do this.

Step 9:  Have a very kind and loving friend drive you to your sister’s house in South Jordan where you will proceed to the airport.  Feel guilty about using your friend in tis manner.

Step 10: Get to South Jordan and realize you forgot your wallet.  Call your roommate in hysterics, waking her up and begging her to bring it to you.  Cry a lot.  Cry even more when she gets there, hugging her until she can’t breath and exclaiming to her that you owe her your life. 

Step 10: Go through airport formalities, and then sit next to your nephew on the plane, and recognize how lucky you are to be right here, right now.